I miss you. I miss all of you. I miss having the opportunity to sit quietly and write. I miss hearing what you all have to say. If you work, care for children and blog, how do you do it? How do you do it?

I have nothing significant to share, so how about a little catch-up instead?

I have a new job. I am a Project Officer working for one of the largest non-clinical mental health services in Australia. I LOVE IT! It’s been full on as the majority of my time is spent writing grant applications and grant applications have deadlines, short ones. But goodness it’s good to use my brain and a hard earned skill set.

 

Flight

Winging my way to Sydney for work. I may or may not have thrown up due to turbulence.

I took a leap of faith on this job, it is a 12 month contract and in all honesty the chances of it being refunded are slim. But I did it and I’m glad because, I LOVE IT. The prospect of a period of uemployment in 12 months time does make me nervous, but sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway and pray a new door opens at the right time.

Despite my lack of time for blogging, I have being tossing around the idea of doing my Masters in Business Administration. Stupid much? Yes! But for now I will dream that this is totally achieveable, because a girls gotta dream right?

We have been mini-adventuring.

If we won the lottery, we would drop everything and fly. Fly far, far away and give our travel bug some much needed therapy. But that ain’t going to happen, so we’re mini adventuring to groovy little places in our own backyard.

 

Crowdy Head Lighthouse

Crowdy Head Lighthouse

He wanted to see a lighthouse and I said sure, let's go.

He wanted to see a lighthouse and I said sure, let’s go.

Can we knock and see if the lighthouse keeper is home?

Can we knock and see if the lighthouse keeper is home?

Mini-adventuring is exhausting

Mini-adventuring is exhausting

So that Arctic Blast happened. It does not snow where we live, but if you jump in the car and drive two hours up into the mountains it does. So that’s what we did and our boys saw snow for the first time.

The beautiful drive to Barrington Tops

The beautiful drive to Barrington Tops

It was too cold for this one.

It was too cold for this one.

So we brought the snow to him

So we brought the snow to him

Barr 4

I love these days

In other news, I’m trying to reconcile the ideals of a stay at home mother with a working mother. You know those strange ideas about cooking from scratch, having a clean well ordered home, shopping to a budget etc etc. It’s hard! In short, I’m batch cooking on the weekend to make evenings easier, letting as much of the clean house ideal go as I can and I’m trying to accept that sometimes Arnott’s will be the sanity saver.

I joined the gym for about a month and half. Epic fail. Probably a good lesson in enrolling in a Masters, you do not have time you silly woman!

The day-to-day challenge of working, raising children, maintaining a relationship, friendships and the like are the focus of our lives at present. Relentless and tiring, life is a work but it is a good work. This busyness has a time and a purpose. It won’t always be this way. Right now, we are shooting for balance, giving everything the core of what it needs to survive, and if we’re lucky, thrive.

How is your life at present? Do tell…

There is no room at this inn. No space in this head. Thoughts rise up, hope to be noticed and fall away. The wait is short, hope futile. Creativity a neglected child.

nO vACANCY

Life is crowded by life, the tedium of routine, the frustration of expectation, the obsession with purpose, the inevitable push forward, forward, forward.

When life is busy, you contract. You narrow your walls. You pull in what matters and you push out what can’t. What you have pushed out still matters, but it has been weighed, measured, ranked and categorised by necessity. Shelved for a time. Forever? Guilt. Grief.

What is this path? Did we choose it? Were we compelled to it? Do we want it?

Thought and reflection is a luxury now, bullied out by the habit of busy.

Have we been lulled into the idea that we have no choice or are we actually paralysed by the choices we have?

Is there wisdom in this life?

The getting of wisdom is in this life. Wisdom comes with hardship, challenge and sometimes the consequence of a poor choice. Is our life any of these things?

Is our life brave? Is it cowardly? Does it matter?

Life is full. Bulging at the seams, an existential question writ large. It bursts with love and simple pleasures, noticed and captured; it weeps at what is missed, smothered by compulsion and noise, so much noise.

There is love here. Great multitudes of pure, sloppy, messy, beautiful love.

I could will myself not to miss it, to observe it, take it in, burn it to my memory, but that makes a work of love and I make a work of everything. I’m tired of making a work of everything. So I guess I’ll just try to love and be loved, because really, that’s all there is.

PicMonkey Collage

Making preparations to return to work. Reluctantly.

Cooking My own bread. I buy rye flour and yeast in bulk and bake every day.

Drinking Greystone Savignon Blanc.

Reading Chocolat by Josephine Harris. My favourite line: “Children are born wild, I know. The best I can hope for is a little tenderness, a seeming docility. Beneath the surface the wildness remains, stark, savage and alien”.

Wanting to read Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay.

Looking at the new Womankind quarterly magazine. So, so beautiful. Substance.

Playing at Yoga. I took a class on Saturday. I enjoyed the physicality. The mindfulness not so much. I just kept looking at the fan overhead, wanting to dust it.

Enjoying Dark chocolate, Etsy and strong coffee, preferably combined.

Sewing I really need to take this prompt out. It depresses me.

Wishing I had better command over my emotions some times.

Waiting for a revolution in Australian politics. I think I’m going to be waiting awhile.

Loving our foray into camping. You can feel the power of a memory being made.

Listening to ABC News podcasts and the Fifty Shades sound track. It’s good!

Marvelling At the number of people who ask me if and when I’m going to have another baby

Needing to catch up on letter writing.

Following Jane Caro. I love EVERYTHING she says and the confidence with which she says it.

Bookmarking All things Peter Rabbit. Somebody’s first birthday is approaching.

Giggling With my friend, who told me not to worry if I farted during the yoga class.

Feeling the autumn breeze.

Wearing Yellow and tangerine.

Growing HUGE pumpkins that make beautiful soup.

This post is inspired by Taking Stock at Meet Me At Mikes.

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